How could I possibly be offended?

If I refuse to take offense. I must admit that I have little sympathy for the perpetually aggrieved. I have learned, in the most agonizing way that being angry, resentful, filled with hate and plagued with a vindictive heart, is tantamount to drinking poison and hoping the person I’m offended by dies.

purple liquid poison on brown wooden surface
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You see, from my experience, if I want to be truly free, I must allow others to be free. I have to be careful that I am actually thinking for myself and not swallowing and believing the words of hate-filled vindictive souls dead set on retribution that will never really come. The cycle of anger is a never-ending loop

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I’m angry, I want to get even, I do something to get even, It doesn’t work, I’m even angrier

black and white waves close up view circle
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There is no such thing as justice, if there were, I’d be dead, but I’m not and what I’m left with is being in a state of awe and filled with gratitude feel a duty to help my fellow creatures here while I still am.

As messed up as it all seems and as terrible as you may think the source of your pain is, that pain was already there before that individual arrived in your consciousness, address that first then find someone you can help.

“Don’t look at me…

look at you. Until you find the divine within you will never see it in others. The divine is in us all.” But wait, I understand your skepticism. I too, have doubted and even mocked those who believe as I do now.

This story is a part of my pilgrimage of self discovery. The requisite despair that leads to surrender must be encountered and survived. I never could have without Papa’s hand on my shoulder and even at times He was carrying me like a baby in His arms.

person arm people hand
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The tale is as old as story telling, you see there was this girl…need I say more? Oh? I will say a bit more she told me she loved me and as the story goes, I found it to be untrue

so what to do? some may like to drown in sorrow, I made a decision though and chose to seek within. I recommend not going alone, a journey into the unknown is scary, however, rewarding!

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Sunrise

What I found there was His love for me, which gave me an example, the courage and belief to love myself. Having found that inside, I see it everywhere and in everything. In fact I understand that to allow others to mistake my kindness for weakness is really only harmful to them so that will be arrested as soon as it’s discovered.

So I can forgive the atrocious acts of troubled, lonely, power-hungry souls who’ve lost their way. They merely think they’re winning in this realm of time and miss the opportunity to experience truth and love in the eternal

 

Thank you, but I want this

Alas, here I am again, in anguish, insisting that I have things the way I would prefer. I even have the audacity to say this encounter has been blessed, that God approves of me choosing to seek divine Love from unreliable sources.

I do believe in a blessed human love, though I wonder why I’m consistently ignoring what is constantly right there. Perfect understanding, knowledge of all my weakness and limitless care for my well being.

Gods cloud

Why must I hunger for something so elusive and prone to typical human frailty? The more it escapes my grasp, the more I crave. Am I addicted to such self-abuse? Evidently, as sad as that is to admit, I must increase my effort to realize His Love for me and to integrate the truth that, that is enough. From there I will begin to love myself enough to abstain from one-sided affairs.

That is all thanks for stopping by

So it goes…and goes…

Greetings friends and reading enthusiasts. I am at the crux of, order out of chaos or vice versa and have no wish to discern which. The following are a couple passages from recent reading that have struck me as profound, though why is still a mystery.

and goes

The hidden life of love, in its most inward depths, is unfathomable and still has a boundless relationship with the whole of existence. as the quiet lake is fed by the flow of hidden springs, which no eyes see, so a human being’s love is grounded in God’s love.

Soren Kierkegaard Provocations

distorted

Revelation induces complete but temporary suspension of doubt and fear. It reflects the original form of communication between God and his creations, involving the extremely personal sense of creation sometimes sought in physical relationships. Physical closeness cannot achieve it.

ACIM II. Revelation, Time and Miracles

Borius

Fantasy is a distorted form of vision. Fantasies of any kind are distortions because they always involve twisting perception into unreality. Actions that stem from distortions are literally the reactions of those who know not what they do. Fantasy is an attempt to control reality according to false needs. Twist reality in any way and you are perceiving destructively. Fantasies are a way of making false associations and attempting to obtain pleasure from them.

ACIM VII. Distortions of Miracle Impulses

The Enemy

So there you have it, take from it what you will and have a day that you create.

I love you.

Jeff

 

 

What am I doing?

So, are you not surprised that I might be taking a close look at myself in relationships? As well as in other aspects of my life. What is important? Is who I am relating to and how I am, really appropriate and adding to life, loving-kindness, and compassion? Am I doing right by those with whom I am relating? Is my imagination running away with me?

is this me

Am I a turkey? Not literally, but am I being made a fool of, due to my trusting and solitary nature? It is time to attempt to figure it out. If the expressions are authentic and if so, am I regressing into mistrust, am I also a fool? It is said, “if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is”. “Probably”? Then there is a remote chance? Though very unlikely, what’s the worst that could happen, they are really only hurting themselves.

in bloom

And if it is true and strong, this reflection in no way could hinder or harm that which will last. At least as long as things do in this place we call home for now. So I will seek stillness, even in motion, silence even in comotion and will be better for it as I emerge on the other side.

God Bless and I love you

What do you see

What do you see?

What I aspire to…

“A person who cares nothing for praise or blame knows great inward peace….Praise does not make you holier than you are, nor blame more wicked. You are exactly what you are, and cannot ever be any better or worse than that, in the eyes of God. Attend to what is really within you, then, and you will not care what others say of you. People look at externals, but God looks at the heart. They weigh actions; God knows your intent….To feel no need of human support and assurance is a mark of inward confidence – of those who truly walk with God in their hearts.”- Thomas À Kempis

I know it is nearly impossible to imagine, however, it’s like another quote I like to refer to “It’s better to aim for the stars and land on the moon than to aim for a mud puddle and hit it.”

wild yellow
wild yellow

Wishing all a blessed day and that your’s shall be just as it should.

Gazing at the Light

The lamps are different,
But the Light is the same.
So many garish lamps in the dying brain’s lamp-show,
Forget about them.
Concentrate on the essence, concentrate on the Light.
In lucid bliss, calmly smoking off its own holy fire,
The Light streams towards you from all things,
All people, all possible permutations of good, evil, thought, passion.
The lamps are different,
but the Light is the same.
One matter, one energy, one Light, one Light-mind,
Endlessly emanating all things.
One turning and burning diamond,
One, one, one.
Ground yourself, strip yourself down,
To blind loving silence.
Stay there, until you see
You are gazing at the Light
With its own ageless eyes.

– Jalal-ud-Din Rumi

DailyOM

Great, so now what?

I have acknowledged my error in perception, forgiven the “perpetrator”, asked forgiveness and expressed an interest in making up for the infraction. My question is now what?

Well for starters, I can return to what is. That which is available right now always has been and always will be. I have to admit though it is not as easy as it might sound. My mind (Ego) keeps thinking and restlessness ensues. Constantly searching for the next big thing, a thrill, some form of satisfaction from out there, all the while, “it’s an Inside Job”

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Bringing my attention back to my body and where and when I am. It’s like a broken or scratched record. To break the habit of dwelling in my thoughts and the particular appetites that I want to feed, in lieu of residing in my being.

  1. Recognize and acknowledge what I am grateful for.
  2. Let those who matter, know that I appreciate them, no matter what I think they think.
  3. Be quiet and still for my own benefit. “put the oxygen mask on first, before helping others with theirs”
  4. Praise and thank God for all the blessings, strength and forgiveness He has given.
  5. Go in Peace

This is another repeat track but is so relevant, from the album title and song to the music Thank you, I will always love you

Horseman of the Soul

Time’s tailor has never made a robe for anyone
Without then slashing it to pieces.
See how the million fools of this world
Pay Satan heaps of gold for pain!
Don’t stretch out your legs on this earth-carpet,
It is a borrowed bed; fear that day
His messengers come to roll it up forever.
How can you go on gazing at the body’s dust?
Search out the Horseman of the Soul!
Train your vision with passion and longing,
And see the Horseman at the heart of this dust-storm!

– Jalal-ud-Din Rumi

A Year Of Rumi

An Apparition

A mirage of sorts, though it can’t be seen or even concretely described. I know it, feel it and can almost taste it. When I can capture it and possess it for my own, I will finally feel relieved of this wretched craving. Therein lies my affliction. Reliance on created things for solace.

As soon as the slightest acknowledgment of my existence is perceived the twinge of hunger evolves into an insatiable need. It must fill me up. I know well the error of my ways. I consistently regularly want what I ultimately can never have. As much as I chase cajole attempt to persuade bribe or buy and as close as I think I might be to quelling this thirst the object of my desire vanishes, evaporates turns to dust, or realizes the futility of my endeavor and erects a barricade of silence which I dare not penetrate.

I correctly assign the blame squarely where it belongs, right here with me. Things money, status, the adulation and “love” from beings will always disappoint and it’s not their fault. I have established an impossible feat for them to achieve. Being highly sensitive the initial sensation that touches is exhilarating and is what leads me to abandon any sense I might have ever had.

The solution though is readily available and inexhaustible. It is of course “The Source” God, Abba, Yahweh, Allah, it is the same in whatever language, culture, the religion where the gift of your faith abides. It is our essence It is eternal. I must only stop, thinking, doing, striving, and most of all grasping, wishing to possess. That is all “the world” The eternal is within me and around me, apart of me and I a part of it.

As long as I continue to “use” the urges will never subside and the onset of withdrawal starts as soon as I try to quit. Resistance is futile and surrender is the highest and best option. I don’t want to, and so it goes.

Please Help Me, I am nothing without You

May your day be as it should.