I have no use for it.

As I feel the pain, anguish, and despair. I remain silent in solitude.

“But before we come to that which is unspeakable and unthinkable, the spirit hovers on the frontiers of language, wondering whether or not to stay on its own side of the border, in order to have something to bring back to other men. This is a test of those who wish to cross the frontier. If they are not ready to leave their own ideas and their own words behind them, they cannot travel further.” Thomas Merton No Man is an Island

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If I had not been broken to the point of utter despair, by the Grace of God. I would have no use for the forgiveness, comfort, and peace available to me from that source. God so loved me,  to allow me to attempt every avenue of escape from my true self and Him that I might, and did collide with reality.

Eagle
Bald Eagle

Now I can fly. Suffer the feelings, without want of escape from them. I can contemplate the peace I have been blessed with and radiate the love, the Perfect Love I can summon when chaos erupts. It is truly available to any and all that find a need for it.

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Remember those for whom you care. Tell them what they mean to you and scatter your love and light, as that is the only solution to dispell Hate and Darkness

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Under My Skin

It was a lovely late summer afternoon. The sun was shining brightly the breeze was light and constant. There couldn’t be a more perfect day for me to be working and enjoying this glorious early Autumn weather. I’m doing my thing, earbuds blasting from my playlist. When suddenly I brush up against the fence. Ouch! I have been pierced by a splinter. No time to deal with it now so I keep going.

Upon completion, I load up my equipment and get into the truck. I grab a cold water out of the ice chest and check the site of the injury. It is on my left forearm on the pinkey side. There is a trickle of blood. I attempt to find if any of it is protruding from the wound. No such luck. It’s lodged in there.

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Wed Wose

I got home and washed it off properly and used a mirror to try to get a better look. I could tell that I was going to have to leave it alone to make its own way out. You see I have some experience with first-aid. My general quarter’s assignment in the Navy was triage and firefighter. Everybody on board is a firefighter. I knew that my body would reject the foreign object and it would come out eventually.

On a side note. Do people, things situations, get under your skin? You cannot be free unless you allow others to be free to be who and what they are without your ideas about what you think is right for them.

It has emerged! 3/4″ long and a sharp little devil.

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Cedar Splinter 3/4″ long

Thanks for stopping by and for that I love you ❤

 

Do you know the difference?

Allow me to introduce you to the Yellow Jacket Wasp.

Profanity Warning!

These little bastards are fucking mean! They are considered to be beneficial because they eat other insects like mosquitoes, apids and the like. I have become acquainted with them, quite painfully 6 times in the past week.

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Yellow Jacket

They will defend the colony very aggressively. A giant, pushing/chasing a lawnmower over the nest is to be attacked mercilessly. The sting is painful initially leaving a sharp ache the rest of the day.

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Ground-nesting insects

When the ache subsides, what you are left with is not unlike a large mosquito bite that itches for a week or more. I am amazed at the tenacity and courage of these little fuckers. Imagine giving your life trying to kill a creature several thousand times your size to defend the queen and her brood.

What I have learned.

  1. They only nest annually
  2. Only the inseminated queen survives the cold winters (not sure how I don’t care)
  3. She starts a new colony in spring
  4. Late summer the nest is at its highest density (ah now I am beginning to understand)
  5. Upon discovery stay away, let them settle down and take another pass if necessary.

The Takeaway. I have a profound curiosity for all of God’s creatures. There is something to be learned from nature that I can apply to the miracle of life and existence.

Courage, what are you willing to give your life for? Survival of a representative republic?(that’s a worthy blog post by itself) Tenacity, How adamant are you about your faith? I feel I could be better. Defense of your family. I know I can be hard on them, but I only want what’s best and will expect the same in return.

God bless all of you and thank you for reading to the end.

What is this S%#t?

I notice this on my way home this afternoon. The evidence of the Saint Paul Police Mounted Patrol is in the neighborhood. This actually brings a smile. I love horses and I enjoy seeing them on their companions patrolling events, like today’s historic homes tour.

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Officer Hank Price and Cowboy

In other news, I am embarking on a pilgrimage of sorts. It has become painfully apparent the I have no idea, what I want to do. I know I want to help. There is a problem though. I seem to lack passion for anything. I am just finishing No Man is an Island – Thomas Merton and next in the queue is The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho I am praying and meditating on my contribution and the fears I have that interfere with me making a bold move for my own benefit. I will be making updates along the way sharing and soliciting for suggestions and experience from all who care to contribute.

It's here
It’s here!

“You can call it fall if that’s what you please…” Barney Song

I’ll leave you all with that for now except for my musical thought for this post.

RIP Walter

Vindictive

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Chinese symbols for vindictive

I can no longer endure the psychic pain of resentment. I must be rid of it as soon as it becomes evident in my thought. “resentment is like me taking poison and hoping someone else dies”. -Unknown

 

To be rid of it

  1. Consider the person, place, thing or situation.
  2. What happened
  3. Consider how this affects me and other relationships
  4. Where had I been selfish, dishonest, inconsiderate? Where if any had I hurt them. Did I arouse issues?

I write this down if possible, there is a certain magic in writing with pen/pencil and paper and holding it in my hands to be relieved of this discomfort.

I will then take time, to wish them loving kindness, that they will be relieved of suffering and the root of it.

I can now carry on my way, shedding my qualms like a loose garment.

images from Google images

 

There’s always room for improvement!

And boy, do I have some. Astronomical in size comes to mind. What brought this on? One might ask. Well, I’ll tell you. If you have been following along, you know of my desire to help. Well, it has become painfully apparent the I can do more.

Through reading blogs, scripture, news and so on. The question arises, what have you done for “the least of mine”. Not a lot I must admit. Lately, though I have given some dollars to those requesting “anything helps” at intersections.

I had, in the past that these people were actually just doing this for their job and that they probably made more money than I do. Upon reflection, I found within that this was devoid of compassion.

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Like it or not-Fall is upon us

Another area in my sorted life, where I find room for improvement is in refraining from the judgment of others. This has been brought about reading from Thomas Merton’s No Man is an Island “If we are to love sincerely, and with simplicity…We must somehow strip ourselves of our greatest illusions about ourselves, frankly recognize in how many ways we are unlovable, descend into the depths of our being until we come to the basic reality that is in us, and learn to see that we are lovable after all in spite of everything”, and that we are loved precisely because of our flaws.

As I emerge from the other side, I am better able to love, any and all. And, most important understand.

I gotta say!

Or more appropriately, I have to say! I am in complete awe of the community that is WordPress. I am also immensely grateful for the expression put forth by all whom I enjoy following.

I have mentioned this before, but I had no idea how important it is to follow, read, like, and comment on other’s creations here, when I started. I am also a bit surprised at how much I have begun to and enjoy doing such. I found that when I took my little eclipse road trip, the while away, I missed being able to read what everybody’s been doing. Safely anyway, while driving.

I definitely have been bitten by the WordPress bug.

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Hello bug

The variety and depth of the content produced here are astounding. I find myself experiencing a full range of emotion. Joy, peace, admonishment, sadness, caring, uplifted, informed. In the words of Thomas Merton “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.”  All of you who I read, and some are hardly aware while others are quite close, almost intimate, do this for me. You touch me. From the depth of my soul, I thank God for you. And I thank you too!

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I’ll be reading you. Thanks for stopping by.