Mad desire for Desire and the Water of Life makes Love inflame
A thousand thousand fires and furnaces every second.
As my intention to serve G_d’s creatures and therefore Him grows. I am set upon a path of improving myself. Through trial and error, sorrow and joy, madness and serenity.
To experience fully and actively all that this existence offers. I hope for the days when at ultimate peace praising Him that I want of nothing more than to please my Beloved.
As awareness sharpens and failures and faults are exposed, I volunteer to enter the Refining Furnace of Love, and that all the slag rises and is discarded leaving the purest of Love a human is capable of giving.
So, are you not surprised that I might be taking a close look at myself in relationships? As well as in other aspects of my life. What is important? Is who I am relating to and how I am, really appropriate and adding to life, loving-kindness, and compassion? Am I doing right by those with whom I am relating? Is my imagination running away with me?
Am I a turkey? Not literally, but am I being made a fool of, due to my trusting and solitary nature? It is time to attempt to figure it out. If the expressions are authentic and if so, am I regressing into mistrust, am I also a fool? It is said, “if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is”. “Probably”? Then there is a remote chance? Though very unlikely, what’s the worst that could happen, they are really only hurting themselves.
And if it is true and strong, this reflection in no way could hinder or harm that which will last. At least as long as things do in this place we call home for now. So I will seek stillness, even in motion, silence even in comotion and will be better for it as I emerge on the other side.
“…you see, my desire for you is relentless and consumes me much of the time.
I know not of what fills your day and the mystery only fuels my passion. The fact is, that I refrain from pestering you constantly, as I’m sure you have a full life as any person would, may or may not be of any interest to you. The fact remains that I torture myself for you.”
“if God and the relationship to God are left out, then this is not love, but a mutual and enchanting illusion. For only in love for God can one love in truth. To help another human being to love God is to love another person. And to be helped by another human being to love God is to be loved.” Soren Kierkegaard Provocations
“…You see because of where we are and what we’re each up to and my wanting you too much, and your human inadequacies and mine I am left only to seek that which is eternal when I want badly to gain from you which you can’t possibly provide. You help me to love God and in turn am being loved by you…”
“…I know it’s deep and may not have ever occurred to you or even is remotely comfortable for you to consider…”
“But the one who loves says: I abide. Put the past out of the way; drown it in the forgiveness of the eternal by abiding in Love. Then the end is the beginning and there is no Break.” Soren Kierkegaard
The act of perceiving. Well, that’s just great. Admitting that my perception is egregiously flawed, I have arrived at a crossroads where I must summon that which cannot be fathomed by the human mind but know is there.
I have a choice to allow myself to be devoured by all the injustice and chaos swirling in the news. Or I can choose to be consumed by what is now and what is true. Because what is on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook is most likely merely a distraction. Come on Twitter…Really with tens of thousands of fake profiles, this is where we place our trust in gathering accurate information? God help us.
What after all is really important? That I am looking down at the dirt, rather than looking up at it. I am able to devote my life to helping. I can express and acknowledge immense gratitude for the opportunity placed before me to Be Here now!
Stop and discern the vastness of this moment and perhaps the love and light will become apparent.
Or more appropriately, I have to say! I am in complete awe of the community that is WordPress. I am also immensely grateful for the expression put forth by all whom I enjoy following.
I have mentioned this before, but I had no idea how important it is to follow, read, like, and comment on other’s creations here, when I started. I am also a bit surprised at how much I have begun to and enjoy doing such. I found that when I took my little eclipse road trip, the while away, I missed being able to read what everybody’s been doing. Safely anyway, while driving.
I definitely have been bitten by the WordPress bug.
The variety and depth of the content produced here are astounding. I find myself experiencing a full range of emotion. Joy, peace, admonishment, sadness, caring, uplifted, informed. In the words of Thomas Merton “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” All of you who I read, and some are hardly aware while others are quite close, almost intimate, do this for me. You touch me. From the depth of my soul, I thank God for you. And I thank you too!
Today I am in a state of immense gratitude for the Grace of a loving God.
It started as a peculiar smell that was reminiscent of burnt sugar turned to carbon, that I remember from elementary school science. From where the aroma emanated was a mystery. My roomy and I searched high and low, checking the stereo equipment, the fridge, among other things. The smell did not seem to be getting worse so we concluded that we would monitor and hope for the best.
We both went about our usual Saturday activities, for me, that is, on this weekend. One when I get to spend time with my daughters. I attended to a couple assignments (work) and had a plan to drive up to an event known as Game Fair. It was something I had not heard of and that it was mostly hunting related and featured events with dogs.
My older child was reluctant but was interested in spending time with me so off we went. It was moderately fun and the girls and I loved seeing all the dogs and especially puppies. Watching trained hunting dogs was fascinating and great fun for me.
We returned to my place as we had a few hours before time to return the lovelies to their mom. The smell was seemingly about the same but was stronger in a different part of the unit. Closer to the living room and I thought that maybe it was coming from the ceiling fan. So we turned that off and plugged the stereo system back in and proceeded to find a suitable movie to watch, one that the three of us might be able to agree on.
I took the young ladies home and returned to catch up on my reading of followed blogs. My roommate was engaged in a rather animated phone conversation, that I was doing my best to filter out details of but concluded it to be work related.
It was then that the smell took on an ominous new characteristic. It was smoke and it was in the hall and kitchen I called out to said roomy and saw flames coming out of the microwave oven.
Rapid action ensued fire extinguisher was located flames were doused and unit evacuated as the smoke had within less than 90 seconds filled the unit to about chest high. We went out onto the deck/balcony and went in periodically to open windows and attempt to air the place out. I was fairly sure the threat of reignition was past but my pal was not so we emptied the remaining product from the extinguisher onto the source of the still evident smoke.
Eventually, the smoke cleared enough for the alarms to stop and assessment was warranted.
If we had been asleep, out of the unit or had it been able to burn another 2 minutes the entire house would have been involved. Thank you, God!
We were saved a great deal of loss and certainly, even more, inconvenience had the whole dwelling been affected. Now only clean up and tolerance of the aroma of a camp fire inside my place.
Was going to use On Fire by Van Halen from their first CD/Album but I like this better
And by Hold On I mean Let Go!, well loosen your grip just a little. Life sends us little messages in the form of how we feel or what we anticipate we’ll experience. If my experience is any indication, the more my ego is involved in the results, or if I have expectations about the desired outcome, the more self-centered fear plays its role in my emotional well-being, at the moment. In fact, I will have lost touch with now.
Another aspect of experience came to light and it fits perfectly with how, when I do experience irritation or negative feelings. I allow myself to experience them fully and let them pass, instead of doing something to be rid of them. An amazingly talented writer intimated this perfectly in this piece fitfulfearfulphantasmal.wordpress.com/…/hurry-up-and-hurt-me
This is how I view uncomfortable situations and feelings today. Let me have it because my pain is a gateway to growth and character.
Continuing with my venture into describing principles acquired, developed, learned, what have you, recovering from addiction. It is my assertion that the 12 steps and the order they are in, are divinely inspired. All of the previous steps and principles are needed to make progress to the next.
So we’re at step 8. Made a list of all the people we harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Old timers say that the principle here is brotherly love, there seems to be a bit of debate about this as I have seen a few others. Willingness, discipline among others. I contend that it truly is Love.
I have realized that what I do to or for others I inflict or provide to myself. My spirit is damaged or enriched by the actions I take toward others. Even just in thought.
If I am to heal my being and become a decent human, able to interact and function in society. I must be rid of the hurt I have caused myself and others. Writing down the names of those I have harmed and becoming willing to bridge the chasm created by my behavior is an imperative exercise on the road to recovery.
Contemplating the love of God is invaluable in this undertaking. God knows my heart and all of my history and Loves me. I must do, be that love to work through this.