Refine to Purity

Mad desire for Desire and the Water of Life makes Love inflame
A thousand thousand fires and furnaces every second.

Rumi

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As my intention to serve G_d’s creatures and therefore Him grows. I am set upon a path of improving myself. Through trial and error, sorrow and joy, madness and serenity.

To experience fully and actively all that this existence offers. I hope for the days when at ultimate peace praising Him that I want of nothing more than to please my Beloved.

burning campfire
Photo by Berend on Pexels.com

As awareness sharpens and failures and faults are exposed, I volunteer to enter the Refining Furnace of Love,  and that all the slag rises and is discarded leaving the purest of Love a human is capable of giving.

Burn Baby Burn

What I Want

And to be perfectly honest with you, I haven’t the slightest idea. Sounds crazy right? Perhaps not so. I know I am dedicated to a life of service. I love to help. I am more likely to consider the wants and needs of others before my own. I consider this to be quite selfish really, a more refined form of selfishness, in the words of Anthony de Mello, selfish none the less.

monarch

My point is I really don’t know what I want. I have no interest in the societal convention of success. I have way more than I need, given a certain perspective of what most in this world survive on. I am writing this particular piece in hopes of fleshing out the desired outcome of this perfectly flawed human’s existence. As with all who have found a voice for themselves in the creative act of writing, I would love to be recognized as a competent author with a message of hope for humanity. A lofty aspiration, I know, it requires a great deal of tenacity, perseverance, and luck to be discovered, by those that can bring that dream to fruition. But that’ not all.

purple

I truly want a deeply meaningful, loving relationship with a woman that shares my values and will tolerate my peculiarities, human frailties, and appetites. As I consider this one, I’m reminded of when I was a young buck of 18 hanging out around a gas station in Newport Beach, people would stop in for directions and we, my friends and I, would get a kick out of telling them, “you can’t get there from here.” Or so it seems.

bouquet bunch of flowers flowers holding
Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

I trust and have faith that my Creator has a plan and it is better than I can now imagine. Our souls know each other, I may even know them in this realm, I may even be engaged in some interaction now, the future is murky, the magic 8 ball says, try again later.

I want to be grateful for and share what I have been so graciously given. Even if that is all, it is enough and that’s quite a lot. Would It be okay if I wanted a little more? Or am I being greedy?

lavender

More will be revealed, that much I know for sure.

In Mr. Wayfarer’s dwelling unit.

A challenge from an admired author and one I consider an instructor in my endeavor to be better

https://fitfulfearfulphantasmal.wordpress.com/2018/07/24/in-mr-habtes-apartment-also-see-the-writers-challenge-after-this-story/

with your permission I’ve adopted your format

In Mr. Wayfarer’s dwelling unit

list of refuse found in Mr. Wayfarer’s trash

trash

1. antiquated notions of self doubt and anxiety about how he’s perceived
2. insistence that he be right
3. seeking immediate gratification
4. snap judgment
5. failure to recognize and embrace alternatives views about himself and others

list of items in Mr. Wayfarer’s toolbox

toolbox

1. impartial observation of himself
2. devotion of time dedicated to silence in solitude
3. reverence for something indescribable beyond himself
4. awareness of the violence and beauty of nature
5. attention to the dwelling of his soul, while serving his sentence here, and taking good care of it

list of items in Mr. Wayfarer’s closet

closet

1. deviant voyeuristic appetite and tendencies
2. classic liberal political preference
3. a shelf with items previously discarded, but saved for possible emergencies
4. revulsion to obvious deceit that cannot be admitted
5. self deception

 

I am so Sorry

To who am I speaking? Myself I guess, or to the one to whom I assigned the impossible task to relieve my insatiable appetite. This is an extension to or an update to When Enough isn’t

I  have just recently arrived at the notion that, what I really am after is not what is consuming my thinking mind’s desire. I know from experience that, as soon as my objective is achieved the result will disappoint or the feeling I hoped would be captured does not occur. What I really want is the relief, from the craving, inner peas…lol  I do make an error in what I think will quell the desire.

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My ego insists that I must have what can never ultimately be possessed. Is it ironic that ego (self) and wanting to possess (covet) are features of human nature we are told to turn away from?

The anticipation is what I am addicted to. The projected outcome, which never happens, is that which consumes me.

corrosive

It is truly corrosive to my peas. So, please accept my apology. I cannot say that it will never happen again, because I am, after all, Human

2 musical selections today

Appropriate

ap·pro·pri·ate

adjective

  1. Suitable or proper in the circumstances

verb

  1. Take (something) for one’s own
  2. Devote (money or asset) to a special purpose

 

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Appropriate some time, if you please, to consider if you think it appropriate, for our “representatives’ to appropriate our earnings and the earnings of future generations to their perception of what is appropriate?

I say NO! But what of it? In my humble opinion, we are no longer represented. Those we have elected, at least in national offices have been placed into a system that has corrupted them to engage in keeping the status quo, placing the electorate in perpetual debt to the whims of the ruling class.

It is a bit disheartening, however, I personally am responding with, acceptance of what is. Our education system has failed us and those who would best be able to affect a change are more concerned about which side is to blame or to be congratulated than what is truly best for the whole.

I will appropriate time to discern who best to vote for in coming elections

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variation II attrib

attribution of the featured image, other images courtesy of Pexels

I’ll leave you with this

 

 

Aprehensive

Since beginning my endeavor into writing, I have become interested in words, their meaning and origin. I have always been very literal and find this word curious.

Aprehensive

adjective
adjective: apprehensive
  1. 1.
    anxious or fearful that something bad or unpleasant will happen.
    “he felt apprehensive about going home”
    synonyms: anxiousworrieduneasynervousconcernedagitatedtenseafraidscaredfrightenedfearfulMore

    antonyms: confident
  2. 2.
    archaic literary
    relating to perception or understanding.
Personally, I find the archaic definition more appealing to my literal mind.
The ability to apprehend, grasp or comprehend an idea or concept. I don’t quite understand how the word became to mean something related to fear and anxiety.
Maybe someone out there can help me to understand.
Meanwhile here is more from my visit to MIA Minneapolis Insitute of Art
accompanied by my lovely daughters.
aww
Siblings, how can they love and be repulsed by each other simultaneously?

Cheesy right?

Have a seat

Have a seat

A grand location for the exhibition of expression

My #1

Firearms as art?…She’ll never forgive me, but after all isn’t it a parent’s job to embarrass their kids?

They will never know what it was like without a mobile device… It was so hard lols

Apprehending what love is and to experience it in all of its eternal facets

There you have it. You may now carry on as you were.

Until then if you please, enjoy a taste of mine.

 

Unfathomable Wealth

What it would be like to live with such wealth, that you could create, or have created for you, a home that had it all and even more? This past weekend, my youngest and I visited the grand home of James J. Hill, on Saint Paul, Minnesota’s historic Cathedral Hill.

The Man
The Man

We embarked upon an informative and educational venture into the dream home of one of Minnesota’s most important citizens. He founded the Great Northern Railwaycon49

He was a tireless “workaholic” and created a vast fortune that is evident throughout the state. More information can be found here Minnesota Historic Society  The rest of my entry will be photos and commentary of impressions I left with.

The grand stairway, with its gorgeous woodwork took my breath away. Photos do not do the grandeur of this spectacle justice. the entire house has carved woodwork that was carved by and artist that left his likeness in certain pieces.Carver

The home had the latest technology of the time, mainly electricity, with a gas backup and a central heating system that still works today. The lighting is designed to give one the feel of what it would have been like living in the home at the end of the nineteenth and the beginning of the twentieth centuries. Large windows provided natural light, which is evident where applicable.

The Man was involved in nearly all of the industries that experienced growth during the industrial revolution. I am still processing the entire event. I will return again in the spring the get more from the exterior and the view of the Mississippi River Valley from the Home. Until then

May your moments be all the are meant to be.