Great, so Now What?

I am continuing my series on principles I aspire to integrate into to my being. So here I am having been reduced to the point of Surrender. I have arrived at the crossroad and the resulting option is killing myself, being locked up or Honesty. Having decided I want to live a free life and am in a positionContinue reading “Great, so Now What?”

What is wrong with this picture?

What was I thinking? I’m talking about the blatant disregard for my own and others safety. In the description of what it was like, in my last post, It’s Payday! Ah the mind of a budding addict. I was craving a feeling of connection. I had a vast hole, or it felt like one, in my being. SomethingContinue reading “What is wrong with this picture?”

“I hope you’re done and not here just to take a break”.

Those were the words of Roger B. at The Retreat in Wayzata The Retreat His words stuck home with me that day in November 1998. I was done and had finally reached the point where I was “willing to go to any lengths to get it” I had to want to be “done” in order for anyContinue reading ““I hope you’re done and not here just to take a break”.”

When you can’t look on the bright side, I’ll sit with you in the dark -Alice in Wonderland

This week a theme has been percolating within me since my last post and the one before that. Things that I’ve read, things I have been thinking about, I know that is a dangerous endeavor, given my thinking problem. I have uncovered something that seems universal.  There is no way I can be of any help ifContinue reading “When you can’t look on the bright side, I’ll sit with you in the dark -Alice in Wonderland”

Who Am I?

Me: Wait, what? I: You heard me Me: Oh good grief not you again, who cares? I: You do. Me: Sure yeah, of course, but who else? I: Why does that matter? Me: Touche. So you’re asking me? I: Yes and remember, I’ve got my eye on you, I am aware of you, what you,Continue reading “Who Am I?”

I’m getting there

Liberated from my self-interest, discovering the best and worst in myself, reentering reality and society, as a being, with something valuable to offer without consideration of what, I am to get out of it, only, that I know now that by being generous and grateful with others, we’re all better for it. Bill W. andContinue reading “I’m getting there”

I should know better

Smothered with doubt of what shall come what morbid value can I find,  wallowing in my fear. It’s grip is firm and relentless There must be a sick reward in being trapped there Do I miss that misery? I know better, though, that is not where I belong I am not bound there, for IContinue reading “I should know better”

Out of the mouth’s of babes

How I treasure the newcomer and hearing and reading about the stories of those still struggling with addiction. Way back when almost before I could remember, I was told don’t give up before the miracle happens. Bah! I thought, I’ll never get over wanting to be impaired..ALL THE TIME! Until the pain of staying the sameContinue reading “Out of the mouth’s of babes”

And acceptance is the answer

via Daily Prompt: Acceptance I know this has probably been posted thousands of times, it is the one paragraph from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous that saved me from picking up more times than I can count. And for this prompt, in my humble opinion, it bears repeating. And acceptance is the answer to all ofContinue reading “And acceptance is the answer”

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