Do you know the difference?

Allow me to introduce you to the Yellow Jacket Wasp.

Profanity Warning!

These little bastards are fucking mean! They are considered to be beneficial because they eat other insects like mosquitoes, apids and the like. I have become acquainted with them, quite painfully 6 times in the past week.

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Yellow Jacket

They will defend the colony very aggressively. A giant, pushing/chasing a lawnmower over the nest is to be attacked mercilessly. The sting is painful initially leaving a sharp ache the rest of the day.

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Ground-nesting insects

When the ache subsides, what you are left with is not unlike a large mosquito bite that itches for a week or more. I am amazed at the tenacity and courage of these little fuckers. Imagine giving your life trying to kill a creature several thousand times your size to defend the queen and her brood.

What I have learned.

  1. They only nest annually
  2. Only the inseminated queen survives the cold winters (not sure how I don’t care)
  3. She starts a new colony in spring
  4. Late summer the nest is at its highest density (ah now I am beginning to understand)
  5. Upon discovery stay away, let them settle down and take another pass if necessary.

The Takeaway. I have a profound curiosity for all of God’s creatures. There is something to be learned from nature that I can apply to the miracle of life and existence.

Courage, what are you willing to give your life for? Survival of a representative republic?(that’s a worthy blog post by itself) Tenacity, How adamant are you about your faith? I feel I could be better. Defense of your family. I know I can be hard on them, but I only want what’s best and will expect the same in return.

God bless all of you and thank you for reading to the end.

There’s always room for improvement!

And boy, do I have some. Astronomical in size comes to mind. What brought this on? One might ask. Well, I’ll tell you. If you have been following along, you know of my desire to help. Well, it has become painfully apparent that I can do more.

Through reading blogs, scripture, news and so on. The question arises, what have you done for “the least of mine”. Not a lot I must admit. Lately, though I have given some dollars to those requesting “anything helps” at intersections.

I had, in the past, thought that these people were actually just doing this for their job and that they probably made more money than I do. Upon reflection, I found within that this was devoid of compassion.

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Like it or not-Fall is upon us

Another area in my sorted life, where I find room for improvement is in refraining from the judgment of others. This has been brought about reading from Thomas Merton’s No Man is an Island “If we are to love sincerely, and with simplicity…We must somehow strip ourselves of our greatest illusions about ourselves, frankly recognize in how many ways we are unlovable, descend into the depths of our being until we come to the basic reality that is in us, and learn to see that we are lovable after all in spite of everything”, and that we are loved precisely because of our flaws.

As I emerge from the other side, I am better able to love, any and all. And, most important understand.

I gotta say!

Or more appropriately, I have to say! I am in complete awe of the community that is WordPress. I am also immensely grateful for the expression put forth by all whom I enjoy following.

I have mentioned this before, but I had no idea how important it is to follow, read, like, and comment on other’s creations here, when I started. I am also a bit surprised at how much I have begun to and enjoy doing such. I found that when I took my little eclipse road trip, the while away, I missed being able to read what everybody’s been doing. Safely anyway, while driving.

I definitely have been bitten by the WordPress bug.

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Hello bug

The variety and depth of the content produced here are astounding. I find myself experiencing a full range of emotion. Joy, peace, admonishment, sadness, caring, uplifted, informed. In the words of Thomas Merton “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.”  All of you who I read, and some are hardly aware while others are quite close, almost intimate, do this for me. You touch me. From the depth of my soul, I thank God for you. And I thank you too!

Full

I’ll be reading you. Thanks for stopping by.

 

Delusion

noun

delusion is a belief that is held with strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary. As a pathology, it is distinct from a belief based on false or incomplete information, confabulationdogmaillusion, or other effects of perceptionWikipedia

Wait, What? What of Faith then? It goes on, Whew!

Many religious beliefs hold exactly the same features, yet are not universally considered delusional. Praise God, Jesus, Allah, Shiva, et al.

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Sunrise

How many of us can say that we haven’t been deluded at some time or another?

The Sacred and the Ordinary

Mystery Blogger Award

Alas, I have been nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award. I will thank Emerging From The Dark Night for this. I would also like to thank the creator of the award, Okoto Enigma’s Blog

Rules

  1. Place award logo in post-I found one in Google images not sure if it’s original
  2. Name and link to creator of the award
  3. Thank and link to the blogger that nominated you.
  4. List the rules
  5. Tell readers three things about yourself
  6. Nominate 10-20 Bloggers. Notify by commenting on their blog
  7. Ask 5 question of your nominees
  8. Share link(s) to your best Post(s)

So Here we go! Three Things

  1. I am 68 1/2″ tall
  2. I walked 133,438 steps last week doing my job (self employed-Landscape Maintenance)
  3. I miss the ocean

Answers

Where do you feel most at home? I’m am working toward and getting better at, Right Here!

What lights you up inside? Helping people

What has been your deepest heartbreak? Not having the drive or initiative to do as good as I could growing up.

What do you feel is one of your strengths? Curiosity

What is your favorite way of relaxing? A great meal out with friend(s)

My Nominees

Find Your Middle Ground

RobertCDay

FitRecovery

Real Life As An MSW

My Valiant Soul

A Soft Place to Rest

Orbis Marketing

Mitch Teemley

Cory Melancon

J-Dub’s Grin and Bear It

Questions for you

Favorite Movie-Mine is The Sting

Favorite musical artist- Mine is Joe Satriani

Best meal out what did you have and who were you with- For me there are too many to remember

Favorite Vacation Destination- Mine is Kaanapali Maui

Goofy Question Favorite Cartoon Character Mine is Tazmainian Devil- Loony Tunes

Best posts

Oh boy, this is going to hurt.

The Longing

What even is that?

So there you have it…Voila

Mine

What of me is mine? This body flesh and all will be consumed by the earth

What of my soul? surely belongs to God and is not mine and never was.

My actions are derived from what’s there for me to do and what my wants include, from that I may be compensated to barter for shelter and sustenance.

My thoughts, too are formed from desires and needs.

Then the urge to share, through communication of my native language in written form, is a drive that I cannot take credit for.

An appetite for nutritious food for my soul, reading expertly expressed ideas and experiences, discoveries, conjectures, and conclusions. voice instead

The curious and miraculous rhythm of nature and all that I am able to grasp of that. Engaging in work and physical activity, for no reason than to experience that and do it well.

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Consider the patience and vigilance until they find something to grab onto

None of it can I claim is mine or belonging to me. What of you is yours?

 

What am I afraid of?

To be honest with you, I can’t put my finger on it. I’m fairly level headed, open-minded I am committed to improving myself. I still can’t shake the idea that I’ll be found to be unappealing, odd what have you. I am petrified at the thought of putting myself out there and opening myself up for disappointment and ridicule.

I like who I have become. I want to be counted on, to be thought about and anticipated. Perhaps, I should give myself more time. I’m still afraid.

Maturity

In light of the disastrous nature of discourse in the headlines, I am struck with the poignancy of Thomas Merton’s words in this excerpt from No Man Is an Island written in 1955

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“I cannot make good choices unless I develop a mature and prudent conscience that gives me an accurate account of my motives, my intentions, and my moral acts. The word to be stressed here is mature. An infant, not having a conscience, is guided in its “decisions” by the attitude of somebody else. The immature conscience is one that bases its judgments partly, or even entirely, on the way other people seem to be disposed toward its decisions. The good is what is admired or accepted by the people it lives with. The evil is what irritates or upsets them. Even when the immature conscience is not entirely dominated by people outside itself, it nevertheless acts only as a representative of some other conscience. The immature conscience is not its own master. It is merely the delegate of the conscience of another person, or of a group, or of a party, or of a social class, or of a nation, or of a race. Therefore, it does not make real moral decisions of its own, it simply parrots the decisions of others. It does not make judgments of its own, it merely “conforms” to the party line. It does not really have motives or intentions of its own. Or if it does, it wrecks them by twisting and rationalizing them to fit the intentions of another. That is not moral freedom. It makes true love impossible. For if I am to love truly and freely, I must be able to give something that is truly my own to another. If my heart does not first belong to me, how can I give it to another? It is not mine to give.”

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Pelican

Woah, just woah! Have I some growing up to do. Just a bit of nutrition I am consuming.

A Paradox

“Unselfish love that is poured out upon a selfish object does not bring perfect happiness: not because love requires a return or a reward for loving, but because it rests in the happiness of the beloved. And if the loved one receives love selfishly, the lover is not satisfied. He sees that his love has failed to make the beloved happy. It has not awakened his/her capacity for unselfish love.

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Red and Yellow

Hence the paradox that unselfish love cannot rest perfectly except in a love that is perfectly reciprocated: because it knows that the only true peace is found in selfless love. Selfless love consents to be loved selflessly for the sake of the beloved. In so doing, it perfects itself.

wild yellow
wild yellow

The gift of love is the gift of power and the capacity to love, and therefore, to give love with full effect is also to receive it. So, love can only be given perfectly when it is also received.” Thomas Merton No Man Is an Island

Somehow I have intuitively known or felt this “truth” as Thomas Merton describes. I continually “fall on my sword” in relationship and expend good love after bad. I am helplessly attracted to women who are emotionally or physically unavailable. It is safer I guess.

 

 

 

 

 

Liebster Award

I have been nominated for the Liebster Award. yay!

Thank you PurposeDrivenLife for the nomination

The rules of this award:

1. Acknowledge the blog who nominated you and display the award.
2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger gives you.
3. Give 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 11 blogs.
5. Notify those blogs of the nomination.
6. Give them 11 questions to answer

Answers to questions asked

1. People invest time and energy into developing their career, their bodies and their relationships, but often neglect their spiritual dimension of their lives.How do you actively pursue spiritual growth?

My blog is essentially the answer to this. I operate a simple service oriented business. I pray meditate and read scripture and hang with like minded humans.

2. What is your concept of God? Do you view Him positively or negatively?

God is impossible to describe conceptually. The greatest obstacle to finding God is the word, God. I view God positively.

3. How do you deal with people in your life that you don’t like?

I don’t, lols I do my best to treat them with loving kindness at best and ignore them at worst.

4. What are you most afraid of?

That people would find out what I’m really like, a wretched frightened lying thief, doing my best to maintain a facade of living a decent human existence. (only partially true)

5. What makes you smile?

Watching Canada Geese stop traffic on a busy boulevard.

6. What’s is your main reason why you write or blog?

I began as a place to express myself in a journal of sorts detailing my journey. I hope now though, that my writing of my experience might help others.

7. Do you believe in love at first sight?

My current views of real love would make that impossible. It takes more than sight.

8. What inspires you?

Nature in all of its violence and beauty

9. What is your motivation in relationships, pleasing yourself or serving others?

The happiness of my beloved. There is no other way.

10. How you spend your free time?

Reading, writing, riding my bike, continuing to get stuff put away from moving.

11. What does your perfect day look like?

It’s happening right now

Great questions.

Facts about me

  1. I’ll be 58 Next Friday
  2. I’m divorced with 2 daughters (not living with me) 14, and 10 years old
  3. I’ve only always just ended up doing what seemed the next thing to do professionally. Factory worker, Busboy/Bellman, Waiter, Navy deckhand, Ranch hand, Waiter, Cook, Culinary student, Chef, Baker, Pastry Chef, Property Appraiser, Unemployed, Construction Project Manager (Roofing) Property manager, Handyman. Self Employed Landscape maintenance.
  4. The opposite of risk averse.
  5. Covered with body hair except for my head, I’m nearly bald.
  6. I’m 5’8″ tall size 11 1/2 shoe, 32″ waist, 32″ inseam, 16 1/2″ x 32 Shirt
  7. Shorts, tropical shirt and topsiders are my preferred uniform.
  8. I have well over 50 tropical shirts, Reyn Spooner, Tommy Bahama and others
  9. I’m beginning to find this difficult.
  10. I love and live to serve God and others.
  11. I found that mildly annoying…Just kidding.

 

Please forgive me as I do not respond well to recognition. I would like to think that it is humility, but is likely shame oriented. I don’t feel I know enough about any of the bloggers I follow to hazard making any nominations. I felt I should play along to the extent that I did but that is all.

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Me in case you were wondering