Mine

What of me is mine? This body flesh and all will be consumed by the earth

What of my soul? surely belongs to God and is not mine and never was.

My actions are derived from what’s there for me to do and what my wants include, from that I may be compensated to barter for shelter and sustenance.

My thoughts, too are formed from desires and needs.

Then the urge to share, through communication of my native language in written form, is a drive that I cannot take credit for.

An appetite for nutritious food for my soul, reading expertly expressed ideas and experiences, discoveries, conjectures, and conclusions. voice instead

The curious and miraculous rhythm of nature and all that I am able to grasp of that. Engaging in work and physical activity, for no reason than to experience that and do it well.

vilgilence
Consider the patience and vigilance until they find something to grab onto

None of it can I claim is mine or belonging to me. What of you is yours?

 

What am I afraid of?

To be honest with you, I can’t put my finger on it. I’m fairly level headed, open-minded I am committed to improving myself. I still can’t shake the idea that I’ll be found to be unappealing, odd what have you. I am petrified at the thought of putting myself out there and opening myself up for disappointment and ridicule.

I like who I have become. I want to be counted on, to be thought about and anticipated. Perhaps, I should give myself more time. I’m still afraid.

Preoccupied

I wouldn’t mind having a conversation with this innocent fellow.

Have you ever been stricken with a sudden drastic change in appearance? One where you just want to avoid seeing or especially talking to people.  I had that happen to me last night. Eating my late night huge bowl of cereal. When I realize my front tooth was detached from where it belongs.

I have been what I like to refer to as an ideal dental patient. It is however expensive to keep up for me. Turns out a filling failed and lead to the whole thing coming apart. Oh well, I’ll get back to the dentist.

My point here is I was consumed all day with, thinking about it. What shall I do if I encounter anyone? I’ll just get my work done and hide out until I can get the damn thing fixed. I was forgetful, inattentive, distracted, my whole day was like I was not of this earth.

I found though, that I was more aware of myself and actually enjoyed my work day tremendously. I slowed down and noticed how much smoother my day went than the previous day.

star
Star

This has definitely been a wake-up call to take care of things I’ve been putting off. I just want to keep working and taking care of my customers, and I can wait until more convenient time to get these things attended to. NOT!

lilly
What color would you call that?

Well, I’ll be hiding out until I can get my tooth/teeth taken care of. Have a great weekend!

I love my American Girl!

 

Liebster Award

I have been nominated for the Liebster Award. yay!

Thank you PurposeDrivenLife for the nomination

The rules of this award:

1. Acknowledge the blog who nominated you and display the award.
2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger gives you.
3. Give 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 11 blogs.
5. Notify those blogs of the nomination.
6. Give them 11 questions to answer

Answers to questions asked

1. People invest time and energy into developing their career, their bodies and their relationships, but often neglect their spiritual dimension of their lives.How do you actively pursue spiritual growth?

My blog is essentially the answer to this. I operate a simple service oriented business. I pray meditate and read scripture and hang with like minded humans.

2. What is your concept of God? Do you view Him positively or negatively?

God is impossible to describe conceptually. The greatest obstacle to finding God is the word, God. I view God positively.

3. How do you deal with people in your life that you don’t like?

I don’t, lols I do my best to treat them with loving kindness at best and ignore them at worst.

4. What are you most afraid of?

That people would find out what I’m really like, a wretched frightened lying thief, doing my best to maintain a facade of living a decent human existence. (only partially true)

5. What makes you smile?

Watching Canada Geese stop traffic on a busy boulevard.

6. What’s is your main reason why you write or blog?

I began as a place to express myself in a journal of sorts detailing my journey. I hope now though, that my writing of my experience might help others.

7. Do you believe in love at first sight?

My current views of real love would make that impossible. It takes more than sight.

8. What inspires you?

Nature in all of its violence and beauty

9. What is your motivation in relationships, pleasing yourself or serving others?

The happiness of my beloved. There is no other way.

10. How you spend your free time?

Reading, writing, riding my bike, continuing to get stuff put away from moving.

11. What does your perfect day look like?

It’s happening right now

Great questions.

Facts about me

  1. I’ll be 58 Next Friday
  2. I’m divorced with 2 daughters (not living with me) 14, and 10 years old
  3. I’ve only always just ended up doing what seemed the next thing to do professionally. Factory worker, Busboy/Bellman, Waiter, Navy deckhand, Ranch hand, Waiter, Cook, Culinary student, Chef, Baker, Pastry Chef, Property Appraiser, Unemployed, Construction Project Manager (Roofing) Property manager, Handyman. Self Employed Landscape maintenance.
  4. The opposite of risk averse.
  5. Covered with body hair except for my head, I’m nearly bald.
  6. I’m 5’8″ tall size 11 1/2 shoe, 32″ waist, 32″ inseam, 16 1/2″ x 32 Shirt
  7. Shorts, tropical shirt and topsiders are my preferred uniform.
  8. I have well over 50 tropical shirts, Reyn Spooner, Tommy Bahama and others
  9. I’m beginning to find this difficult.
  10. I love and live to serve God and others.
  11. I found that mildly annoying…Just kidding.

 

Please forgive me as I do not respond well to recognition. I would like to think that it is humility, but is likely shame oriented. I don’t feel I know enough about any of the bloggers I follow to hazard making any nominations. I felt I should play along to the extent that I did but that is all.

IMG_3257
Me in case you were wondering

 

 

I’ve been Busy

I’ll soon be back to my tour through the principles I have aspired to incorporate into my being. In the meantime, I have been moving getting settled and working. I do landscape maintenance, which I am loving for a number of reasons. Number one on the list is that it’s outside. Two it is service oriented and the sights.

ducks
in a pond on the job

Being out among God’s creatures brings joy

I am very active and where most pay for gym membership, I get paid for my daily exercise. There are some frustrations though. Customers that think their lawn is less than 4″ when I can cut 40% off and it is still taller than 4″. People that try to get something on the cheap can never be satisfied.

grass
less than 4″?

All in life is great The new place is awesome laundry in the unit all amenities included, gas/electric, cable, and internet. Shopping and eating out within walking distance and a beautiful historic neighborhood. I will be continuing soon with principles. Thank all of you for following

Blue Sky Tag

Thank you, Joss, for sending this my way. Well not really, I was hoping to avoid such things as awards and tags. Alas, as it so often goes in my life, that which I would least like to deal with, smacks me in the face.

There are Rules. Terrific.

  • Give 11 questions
  • Tag as many as you want
  • Answer the 11 questions you were given

 

Here Are my Questions

  1. What is your favorite flavor of Ice Cream?
  2.  Besides Cat or Dog, what kind of animal would you keep as a pet?
  3. What do you hope people say about you after you pass?
  4. What is one thing, you wish you were better at?
  5. Who is your favorite Painter?
  6. What was your favorite song, your senior year of high school?
  7. What is a charity you most wish to contribute to?
  8. What is your position on decriminalization of all drugs?
  9. Who is the most influential person in your life?
  10. What time in history would you most like to visit? if any
  11. Is this something that you were hoping would happen to you? Being tagged

 

I am not tagging anybody. If however, you care to answer my questions, like the post and carry on with the stated rules of the game. Be my guest. If you follow me consider yourself tagged and play if you like.

 

Answers

Most beautiful place. Yosemite National Park CA, USA

Recommended book Awareness Anthony de Mello

The strangest thing that has happened to me. When I was 12 or 13 Some friends and I broke into the cafeteria of UCI my friend J.W. Threw a Hostess berry pie at my face and I looked injured. We sat at the side of the road and used the appearance to get a ride home.

Poem or piece of writing that has had the biggest impact on me. The prayer of St Francis

Favorite artist. I pick music. Joe Satriani

Life changing moment. Other than being born, I can’t think of anything more than this moment is all that matters now.

Share a song I differentiate between songs and pieces of music. Songs to me, have lyrics.

What are my spiritual beliefs? It’s Personal this is a post of mine addressing this

Person, place or thing I miss the most The Ocean, I’m living in Minnesota for now.

My ultimate goal in life. Following the suggestion of the Dalai Lama  To help People and if I can’t don’t hurt them

What skill that I have yet to master. To be a decent human being.

 

 

 

Great, so Now What?

I am continuing my series on principles I aspire to integrate into to my being.

So here I am having been reduced to the point of Surrender. I have arrived at the crossroad and the resulting option is killing myself, being locked up or Honesty. Having decided I want to live a free life and am in a position to follow in the footsteps of many who have overcome and flourished in spite of having been down a similar path.

Where do I go from here? Well, those brave souls I have decided to follow instruct me that I have to find and use a Power greater than myself and believe in the possibility, that I can start doing things, living my life differently, and my ability to make better decisions will result. Many will recognize step 2 of the 12 steps here. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. I had to have Hope that I could be changed.