In time…

When I am still and out among the creatures, attending to their inherent tendencies, a peace overcomes me and I realize that sometimes there is nothing to be done


“Once you know yourself as the light, you will find that inner peace dominates every situation. It’s not that you will never feel fear, anxiety, or anger, but you will no longer get lost in your pain.”
― Panache Desai

in time

In time
I’ve been tempered,
absorbed by the flow
of nature’s perfection
and heavens attentive glow…

I traveled way too fast over fields of isolation,
only pausing for a moment
in divine imagination…

on returning
to the center,
I bathed in pools of bliss,
astonished by the harmony
where fear does not resist…

awoken in the small hours
confronted by my dread,
I counted on the darkness
to let the unseen tread…

The time lords reminded me
that we are
all made of light,
vessels of abiding love
waiting to ignite…

My calling is between the lines
of melodic sounds
and words,
scribbled by the azure skies,
spoken out by…

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You decide

Hi everyone! I hope this post finds you well, I am healthy, blessed and grateful. What I am about to assert may astound some, soothe some and hopefully most will find this to be true, however haven’t considered, that we choose how and what we are affected by.

I was engaging in meditation, this time sitting, silently bringing attention to my breathing and my body. As usual I start at my feet feeling the floor under then and moving up…some of you know how this goes so I’ll get to my point. I wondered, could I be conscious of my entire body at once? Try as I might I found that I could only bring attention to specific parts. I found also that some exterior force could affect a change and I could at that point find it nice or annoying, delightful or painful. Like the warmth of the sun on my skin on a cool day, or a biting breeze on a frigid morning.

I could also at this point choose to allow it to bother me or to recognize it and “lean into it” if you will and feel it deeply and be grateful that I am dressed accordingly and carry on with what I’m doing outside. Probably shoveling snow. and now on to the juicy part.

I contend that we make choices to be stimulated in a manner that is either enjoyable or aggravating to us depending on our mindset, perspective or belief. We choose to be offended, outraged, incensed. the “information” being disseminated in the media is an example. Then find ways to share with others our particular bent that agree with us for validation. The same is true for those such as myself that seek out more pleasurable stimuli, choosing to ignore most of it as noise and observing the madness face in palm. Knowing that it’s going to be alright.


You decide!

Sound Familiar?

Ha! I’m back. I am returning from a hiatus of sorts, due to my not being in any kind of distress or despair. I have realized I am creative when I am in doubt or am in some way desperate.

I am taking this time of upheaval and uncertainty to get back to basics, in a manner of speaking. I am being more disciplined about my daily devotions and reading. I reread Awareness by Anthony de Mello, which I have read many times and, as in the past It was like the first time, finding and seeing things I had missed or wasn’t in the proper attitude to receive.


I am now reading New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton. This is my second foray in to this wonderful composition. He is such an exquisite and thorough writer. I aspire to write only partially as well, as I like to say “it’s better to aim for the stars and land on the moon, than to aim for a mud puddle and hit it.”

The point of this is to place here something I believe is evident in the sad state of our society today, it is an excerpt from the second chapter, What Contemplation is Not, of the previously mentioned book.

Here it is “…the experience of being seized and being taken out of oneself by collective enthusiasm, in a totalitarian parade: the self-righteous upsurge of party loyalty that blots out conscience and absolves every criminal tendency in the name of Class, Nation, Party, Race or Sect. The danger and the attraction of these false mystiques of Nation and of Class is precisely that they seduce and pretend to satisfy those who are no longer aware of any deep spiritual need. The false mysticism of the Mass Society captivates men, (and women) who are so alienated from themselves and from God that they are no longer capable of genuine spiritual experience. Yet it is precisely these ersatz forms of enthusiasm that are “opium” for the people, deadening their awareness of their deepest and most personal needs, alienating them from their true selves, putting conscience and personality to sleep and turning free, reasonable men (and women) into passive instruments (tools-useful idiots) of the power politician.

Photo by Gerd Altmann on

I must examine myself as well, as to my being drugged and having lost the longing to find/discover my true self. I can only hope I have not and that I am willing to hear from anyone who might think so and also hopefully be willing to admit my flaws. At least now I am attempting, however failingly to to encounter my true self at the peril of the external temporary ego driven socially conditioned mind.

That is all for now I hope this has piqued your curiosity and will add your perceptions from your perspective.



  1. the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.” the satiny perfection of her skin”
    • a person or thing perceived as the embodiment of perfection.”I am told that she is perfection itself” synonyms:the ideal, a paragon, the ne plus ultra, a nonpareil, the crème de la crème, the last word, the ultimate, the best; More
    • the action or process of improving something until it is faultless or as faultless as possible.” among the key tasks was the perfection of new mechanisms of economic management”synonyms:improvement, betterment, refinement,  refining, honing”the perfection of her technique”

Is there such a thing or is it something we’re programmed to attempt that is unattainable? From my experience neither. All of my suffering and emotional pain is the result of my resistance to what is.

So let’s take that apart. Everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be right now. All the energy I expend attempting to manage, people, my expectations, how I am going to do this or that and what the results will be is wasted, will cause increased emotional discomfort and could more wisely be used paying attention to what is. Which is, in my humble opinion, perfect.

I have been fashioned in such a way that I am in the current circumstances best able to be of maximum service to my brothers and sisters on the pilgrimage to satisfaction with the way things are. Everything I have experienced and am experiencing is allowing me to learn and share my gifts to all that have reason to be here.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it 🙂

How could I possibly be offended?

If I refuse to take offense. I must admit that I have little sympathy for the perpetually aggrieved. I have learned, in the most agonizing way that being angry, resentful, filled with hate and plagued with a vindictive heart, is tantamount to drinking poison and hoping the person I’m offended by dies.

purple liquid poison on brown wooden surface
Photo by Pixabay on

You see, from my experience, if I want to be truly free, I must allow others to be free. I have to be careful that I am actually thinking for myself and not swallowing and believing the words of hate-filled vindictive souls dead set on retribution that will never really come. The cycle of anger is a never-ending loop

adult anger art black background
Photo by Pixabay on

I’m angry, I want to get even, I do something to get even, It doesn’t work, I’m even angrier

black and white waves close up view circle
Photo by Skitterphoto on

There is no such thing as justice, if there were, I’d be dead, but I’m not and what I’m left with is being in a state of awe and filled with gratitude feel a duty to help my fellow creatures here while I still am.

As messed up as it all seems and as terrible as you may think the source of your pain is, that pain was already there before that individual arrived in your consciousness, address that first then find someone you can help.

“Don’t look at me…

look at you. Until you find the divine within you will never see it in others. The divine is in us all.” But wait, I understand your skepticism. I too, have doubted and even mocked those who believe as I do now.

This story is a part of my pilgrimage of self discovery. The requisite despair that leads to surrender must be encountered and survived. I never could have without Papa’s hand on my shoulder and even at times He was carrying me like a baby in His arms.

person arm people hand
Photo by Public Domain Pictures on

The tale is as old as story telling, you see there was this girl…need I say more? Oh? I will say a bit more she told me she loved me and as the story goes, I found it to be untrue

so what to do? some may like to drown in sorrow, I made a decision though and chose to seek within. I recommend not going alone, a journey into the unknown is scary, however, rewarding!


What I found there was His love for me, which gave me an example, the courage and belief to love myself. Having found that inside, I see it everywhere and in everything. In fact I understand that to allow others to mistake my kindness for weakness is really only harmful to them so that will be arrested as soon as it’s discovered.

So I can forgive the atrocious acts of troubled, lonely, power-hungry souls who’ve lost their way. They merely think they’re winning in this realm of time and miss the opportunity to experience truth and love in the eternal


Are you so certain?

I for one can admit that I am not. I would, however, like to be free to disagree and to offer an alternative idea, one perhaps that is ancient. Truth doesn’t change, no matter how it is ridiculed as hateful or simplistic. I am flawed and prone to mistakes, how else am I to learn?

I feel we all must be allowed to have the truth revealed to us that way. In our own time, which is wildly different for each one of us. Instead of an overbearing group of power-mad supposed representatives that are certain of what is best for the common good, and coerces me to act in a way defined by them. From my experience, the common good is best served by me acting for my own benefit through the discovery of a better me which has occurred from trial and error.

I am all for taking care of those that truly cannot help themselves. I am opposed to helping others that take advantage of the hard work of productive people in our society, through unaccountable programs created to help but cost more to administer than provide actual help to those that really need it.

Can men and women rule themselves? or must we assimilate into the Borg


I understand that is a grotesque oversimplification but is it too far-fetched? I think not. There is a not often revealed downside to collectivism, that being the “leaders” don’t have to do without as the masses must share all of their productivity to the collective. I am of the opinion that the state is subservient to the individual, not the other way around.

I believe that the “news” media have ruined their credibility, and it has become dependent on the audience they are preaching to. It is all agenda driven and we’ve been divided into extreme constituencies that are far from real. One must really dig to find the truth and may never find it. What if the masses realized that they could do more without the interference of the government. Then the politicians and corrupt media would become irrelevant, which is precisely why people are losing their minds. I am content to be uncertain and irrelevant so I am a threat to the collective.

Turn away from what you are rushing towards, embrace that which you are running from-Yourself