Limited Edition

one of a kind

A theme has emerged in my attention to and contemplation of things as they are this week. That being we humans are imperfect with limitations, however, we are also the highest in many ways, in an evolutionary aspect. The epitome of imperfection becomes evident in relation to our fellows and the ways we devise to establish our place among them. Which of course, leads to errors and harm to ourselves and others. Alas, we’re “only human”…is this an excuse? I admit I have used this to justify and rationalize my actions. We are capable of so much better.


What that is to me and any who may consider such things is as diverse as anyone can conceive. So with only my faculties, what does it mean to me to be better? I am very fortunate indeed, some would say “privileged”. I do not have any formal education, so I have that going for me. I am however wildly curious about how happiness is arrived at. I had all the perceived opportunity one could wish for in this thing we call life and decided to spend most of it impaired, through the use of substances. I thought I was happy, when in fact I was suffering from a perception of lack that I used substances to blot out. Which led to a series of catastrophes and finally a surrender.

I’m not going to rehash the whole story here and it’s all documented on my site. The point is how I am making progress, from where I am at this moment. Through my process in recovery, from resistance to religious ideas to fully embracing and being consumed/apprehended by Christ, and the result being Love for all, without reservation. I would have, at the beginning of my journey, stopped listening/reading as soon as any religion was alluded to. My will had to be crushed, and any notion that I was capable of making sound decisions on my own behalf had to be destroyed.

Nikko Macaspac/Getty Image

In utter despair I found that I need to stop and listen, which is how in my opinion I am able to, and any that find themselves in or out of sorts can find relief. I want more though and am making progress through delving deeper into the unseen, unheard and unimagined. Into obscurity which is where real progress is found for humanity. Our bodies, minds, thoughts and aspirations are limited. There is though from my experience something at our core(our souls) that is at once in God while simultaneously He is a part of us, within. I was never able to recognize this without slowing down enough to notice.


As I bring my attention to breathing and to God’s will, which is what I’m doing when I stop if even for a millisecond to consider what’s happening. If I get better with practice any one can if they really want to be better and not prevail over others. It is an investment of time that has yielded innumerable results. I wish to help, am I helping anyone but myself? Perhaps in helping myself in this way all will benefit.

Published by jeffw5382

Stumbling spiritual pilgrim on my way from here to here. Recovered Addict, US Navy Veteran. Sharing my journey of self discovery, in the spirit of service, generosity and gratitude.

20 thoughts on “Limited Edition

  1. “Perhaps in helping myself in this way all will benefit.”

    I cannot speak for ALL, but rest assured, I received great benefit from your shared contemplation. I find significant resemblance to my own experience and related walk in/with God.

    Although I received several ‘formal educations’, and do not lament that, we have quite similar aversions to ‘religion’. I severed ties with my 1st pedagogy – a parental mandated indoctrination into Roman Catholicism – 12 years of parochial school. I was introduced to a vein concept of God, but never the loving personal Savior I now delight in.

    After years of unfruitful searching other religious persuasions and ritual substance abuse, I encountered Christ – a living, loving, empathetic being. As grew in my experience with/in Him, I discovered what has been taught about Him – good/bad, right/wrong, real/false.

    I purposely pursued higher education in theology to compare All religions to my personal awareness with/in God. I spent 12 years studying to ‘earn’ a 4 year college degree. I did not want to merely ‘graduate’. I wanted to fully absorb ALL materials presented, as they would become ‘tools’ to aid my proper discernment. Although I long ago accepted that true discernment comes only from God, to relate truth in this imperfect domain,comparable ‘methods’ must also be employed. Fighting fire with fire, so to speak,,,

    There is, after 40+ years of resulting full-time ministry no greater revelation to proclaim than that which you have summarized. “My will had to be crushed, and any notion that I was capable of making sound decisions on my own behalf had to be destroyed.” We are merely pilgrims, beggars at best, occasionally meeting others in need of genuine sustenance, and pointing them n the direction of lasting fulfillment in God.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Wow, it’s heartening to read about your experience. The discernment that is only possible as the result of seeking to do His will, is beautiful music to the attuned ear. To help others find Christ with mere words that they are willing to hear, without dismissing them before the Truth has a chance to penetrate the obstacles erected is my aim.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We humans just have that darned God-given free will thing to contend with. And though we each can always be “better”, we can also always be “worse” – based on our own choices and our own self-evaluation of same and results thereof.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Beautiful. Yes, when we say “we are only human” we completely undermine what Christ came to show us — that humans really can become the image of the unseen God in The Way of The Christ, The Son of Man. I am reading Walter Wink’s “Son of Man” and your post was a good reminder that it is exactly that which most tries to destroy us that shows us just how glorious and superb a human we really (can be) are. Thank you for honesty, bravery and light. Jane

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Such a grounding and heartfelt post Jeff! So very human ❤

    "But there is a greater comfort in the substance of silence than in the answer to a question."

    I'm called to create more silence in my life and this struck a powerful truth in my quest! Thanks 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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