On and off, joy and sorrow, alive and dead, heads and tails, all beginnings and endings, sides of the same coin. I am one alone and in reality a part of the whole of creation. I am perfectly comfortable being nothing and yet long to be someone’s everything and for them to be everything to me. What more could one desire? There is nothing so powerful as nothing.
“Strange that the individual is the only power that is left. Although his power is zero, zero has great power when one understands it and knows where to place it.” – from a letter to Henry Miller from Thomas Merton
This captured me, apprehended me if you will. I resemble that remark! Am I properly placed? Do you understand me? It matters little in the grand scheme. “What you think of me is none of my business.” I couldn’t find who said this first, I do however have experience of it’s mental health benefits.
I am inundated with the immeasurable immensity of emersion in everything I am capable of observing as I stumble along. There is an ache, a longing, an itch that needs scratching. All is well, yet far from it. People seem to be scrambling for relief, to be thrilled, excited, satisfied. I for one am not immune from the hunger for these, I am learning to recognize them as palliatives and not the wholesome soul food I need.
I am discovering though that I am only sated through generosity, which results from the perception of gratitude for the ultimate Grace offered me from God.
“God Loves us irrespective of our merits and whatever is good in us arises from His love, not from our own doing.” Thomas Merton
So there you have it I am everything to Him and and am nothing without Him
In humility which is not of me abiding in His Love