This may, in fact, be obvious, but it came as a seemingly novel idea to me as I had a vision of myself trying to stuff my beloved into the box of conforming to how I would like my beloved to respond to me. A set of conditions so to speak, that must be adhered to if I am to stay and dole out my particular brand of expression of appreciation.
What of unconditional Love? you ask. Well from my recent experience, while in the process of sorting out how I was feeling trying to be receptive and aware of negative thoughts and emotions allowing them to be and not attempting to change or make a judgment. That went along smoothly for me until I started presenting my case. I had completely forgotten unconditional and felt justified.
As I rattled off my list of demands for the way I insist the way things be, my beloved withdrew, not completely. My beloved seemed to become different, not as open and interactive. My beloved stayed though, continually expressing reassurances of a mutual affection. Something was awry, I could tell, but I knew not what it was.
As the way things go sometimes, it was almost by mistake that I woke up to what I had been doing. I was not allowing my beloved to express love in their own special, very personal way. When I did not accept that and instead pointed to the beautifully wrapped and decorated box I had constructed, and insist that my Beloved get in and conform to that, I changed everything, for the worse.
Let your Love be as it is, let it flow from its source and watch it bloom into a magnificent flower