A Paradox

“Unselfish love that is poured out upon a selfish object does not bring perfect happiness: not because love requires a return or a reward for loving, but because it rests in the happiness of the beloved. And if the loved one receives love selfishly, the lover is not satisfied. He sees that his love has failed to make the beloved happy. It has not awakened his/her capacity for unselfish love.

r and y
Red and Yellow

Hence the paradox that unselfish love cannot rest perfectly except in a love that is perfectly reciprocated: because it knows that the only true peace is found in selfless love. Selfless love consents to be loved selflessly for the sake of the beloved. In so doing, it perfects itself.

wild yellow
wild yellow

The gift of love is the gift of power and the capacity to love, and therefore, to give love with full effect is also to receive it. So, love can only be given perfectly when it is also received.” Thomas Merton No Man Is an Island

Somehow I have intuitively known or felt this “truth” as Thomas Merton describes. I continually “fall on my sword” in relationship and expend good love after bad. I am helplessly attracted to women who are emotionally or physically unavailable. It is safer I guess.






Published by jeffw5382

Stumbling spiritual pilgrim on my way from here to here. Recovered Addict, US Navy Veteran. Sharing my journey of self discovery, in the spirit of service, generosity and gratitude.

7 thoughts on “A Paradox

  1. Is love every really bad love though. Your love may not be reciprocated but it has made an impact and changed the life of the one you gave it too. And the more you love the deeper your ability to do so. So in the end nothing is wasted although it may not have garnered the outcome you desired. To offer a very trite suggestion, one must kiss a lot of toads to find the prince or princess of his/her dreams. ๐Ÿ™‚ โค

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Hi…I was attracted to pushy, abusive controlling men, and women friends. I was like a moth to the flame. It seemed to me that someone might start out seemingly kind and then somehow I did something and it switched into a controlling sometimes abusive relationship. I no longer attract these people after much healing. But let me share I’d be lying if I didn’t say I do look twice. I can spot them a mile away. They always spot me too. I do focus my attention on God and that seems to keep me sequestered away safely to thrive and grow in a new way. It’s hard to stay here because it’s hard to wait. ๐Ÿ’›๐ŸŒผ๐Ÿ™๐ŸผLove your photos. Your flowers are beautiful ๐ŸŒผHave a wonderful week

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผโค๏ธ do check out my two new blog posts about my trip to Barbados would love to know what you think ๐Ÿ˜Š


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