When you can’t look on the bright side, I’ll sit with you in the dark -Alice in Wonderland

This week a theme has been percolating within me since my last post and the one before that. Things that I’ve read, things I have been thinking about, I know that is a dangerous endeavor, given my thinking problem. I have uncovered something that seems universal.  There is no way I can be of any help if I can’t comprehend what you’re even talking about. In addition, good things grow out of compost.

If I am to help anybody find God I must understand the sinner- God Calling

One thing that had been scratching the inside of my skull was one I heard in A.A. meetings and I found it here.

A drunk fell in a hole and couldn’t get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him, get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.

A doctor walked by. The drunk said, “Help, I can’t get out.” The doctor gave him drugs and said, “Take this, it will relieve the pain.” The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.

A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, “How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness.” So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he’d be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.

A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I’ll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.

A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, “Hey, help me, I’m stuck in this hole.” Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, “What are you doing? Now we’re both stuck here.” But the recovering alcoholic said, “It’s okay, I’ve been here before, I know how to get out.”

Taking all of that into account, all of which I, wholeheartedly agree with, I am willing and able to get into the foulest putrid muck of the abyss, with you.

It is a place from which I have emerged, but not without someone who has been there. So the cycle continues, a seemingly catastrophic fracture of psyche takes us to unfamiliar territory, where the solid ground on which I once found firm and reliable is now quicksand. All of the survival mechanisms on which I had relied upon have evaporated. The primary reason, I have found was and continues to be my recent discovery of using things, people, activities to make me feel better. That I was maniacally self-centered and demanding that these things continue to do their magic. They inevitably fail, leaving me in nearly unbearable pain. The only things left are find something more satisfying or surrender.

I ask for help from God, and others who have shared their experience with me, elucidating the familiarity with my dilemma. I can sit in that dark place with you and share without fear and grow.

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19 thoughts on “When you can’t look on the bright side, I’ll sit with you in the dark -Alice in Wonderland

  1. “No mud, no lotus”-Thich Naht Hanh. I admire your bravery, and it takes a lot of humility to realize that you have limitations as a human being. Newcomers like me need people that have been around awhile to help us get our heads out of our butts. :p

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  2. Have you ever heard of a beautiful song by Australian songwriter, Missy Higgins called Night MInd. This post reminded me of it. It is about someone sitting with someone in the darkness and through the darkest phase of their life when they felt suicidal as Missy has felt herself. I am not sure such pain always comes out of self centredness though. But there is something incredibly healing about being present with someone in the muck It isn’t even really muck just pain. I believe the idea of it being muck can sometimes be a form of projection. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No I’ve not heard of the song, and yes muck may be a projection, as is the hole, the abyss, all are metaphorical of the feeling we encounter when hope is dwindling and answers are not forthcoming

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      1. I do that too. I have a huge library of photos and art elements. I’ve been an artist all my life. I think when you create your own art out of everyday things you see and snap a photo it’s healing and such wonderful illustrations into your soul. It’s true what they say a picture says 1,000 words.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. We as a culture in general have expectations that others will fix our every need and lose sight of our capabilities. We are stronger than we think. We can and will overcome many ordeals. I would join the person in the hole because most likely either I’ve been there or I will be. I just know together we can resolve it but I will not fix it for them.. The story was a great reminder to be part of the change. 🌻

    Liked by 1 person

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