His Mercy

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God in his mercy was permitting me to fly as far as I could from His love but at the same time preparing to confront me, at the end of it all, and in the bottom of the abyss, when I thought I had gone farthest away from Him.
For in my greatest misery He would shed, into my soul, enough light to see how miserable I was and to admit that it was my own fault and my own work.
And always I was to be punished for my sins by my sins themselves, and to realize, at least obscurely, that I was being punished and burnt in the flames of my own hell, and rot in the hell of my own corrupt will until I was forced at last, by my own intense misery, to give up my own will.

Thomas Merton
Seven Storey Mountain

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